Conversations with my Late Lolo

Weeks before entering college in 2018, I dreamed of my late Lolo who died back in January 2012. He was telling me “Kung ano man desisyon mo, susuportahan kita” ("Whatever your decision is, I support you"). I can still vividly remember how he rarely smiled during his last few weeks on earth. He had emphysema due to years of being a chain smoker. We had to put him on oxygen due to the complications of smoking as well.

My Tita used to tell me before that I was the favorite grandchild of his, as I was the most spoiled - among my cousins, I was always the one calling dibs on the passenger seat whenever we rode the family van; he also used to take me to restaurants whenever I didn't like the food at home; and, he picked me up every weekend when my parents and I were renting an apartment away from the family home.

Going back to that dream, he looked genuinely happy for me as I was about to enter my dream university.

“Kung ano man desisyon mo, susuportahan kita” ("Whatever your decision is, I support you").

Last night, I dreamed of him again after almost three years. He was sitting as usual, but more upright and was on my study corner. I told him a lot of things or updates about everything that has happened since entering college, but the main highlight (or it could also be the only thing I can remember) was my consistency on the dean’s list and my MCL dream still going strong. He looked happy and relaxed. Why relaxed, you ask? He was wearing a red Hawaiian-themed polo shirt like he’s just on a vacation. But he doesn’t have one, though! If that was any indication, it’s like he is also updating me back that he is somewhere safe, relaxed, and free from pain. And that it’s like a vacation in the afterlife - if that is also what he is implying with the getup.

Photo courtesy of my Tita, Facebook (2018). My Lolo is the one on the left.

I don't know about you, but I'm a firm believer that dreams are the bridge between the living and the afterlife. It's how our loved ones who passed away reach out to us when we are in need of their presence. Especially me, if you know me very well, I actually don't have that "strong personality" that you might feel when we first encountered (in person, of course). Given this, I have this strong feeling that they are always watching over me and communicating with me whenever I need them the most.

Sometimes I also wonder why I only dream of my Lolo, when I was also close with my Lola before. That, I cannot answer. But, who knows, maybe in my next encounter with my Lolo I will get my answers.

With his birthday in a few days, I guess it's time we visit his resting place in the cemetery as we haven't for quite a while due to the quarantine. I hope we can, but with the fast-rising cases due to the variants, we will probably celebrate it at home - only the four of us.